The Form: Performance Review The Scenario: When it comes performance review time at the Offices of the International Polo League, human resources starts stressing. This is namely because the offices are staffed in the lower ranks by the just-undertalented-enough-to-not-make-it-into-the-league bourgeois youth, whose dreams of equine days filled with sun shine/dresses were superseded by a life [...]

The Form: Salary Agreement The Dream: Think of the most stereotyped, cold and socially unconscious corporate-y corporation you can possibly mentally muster, with its C-level executives administering themselves raises faster than human resources can keep up with them. It would be, I think you can agree, a total nightmare. The human resources department needs a [...]

The Form: Employee Expense Report An imaginary scenario: Say you work for a public relations company with international clients, and some of the more important employees at your company travel the world in order to catch up with these clients in a few schmooze sessions over drinks and food. The international schmoozing is a key [...]

The Form: Employee Policies/Handbook Agreement Imagine this Scenario:  You have just stepped in to fill a position previously occupied by a total derelict failure of a worthless human. What was it that turned your predecessor from decent human to worthless human? EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK NEGLECT. That’s right, this person epidemically forgot or neglected to have many [...]

The Form: Non-Disclosure (NDA) The Theoretical Scenario: Imagine, just for a totally brief moment, that you were privy to some information that was about to unleash utter disruption on the carnivorous plant industry. You are about to market carnivorous plants that eat the run of the mill household spider, thus returning it to the circle [...]

The Form: Replacement ID   The Scenario: The most serious problem facing ID losers is not necessarily the lost ID in itself, but the paperwork they face obtaining a new one. Whether a school ID, driver’s licence or medica marijuana card, the prospect of obtaining a new one causes considerable stress. Such was the case [...]

The Industry: Food and Drink Service/Catering The Form: Freelance Hire Form The Scenario: Ann is one of the preeminent entertainers on Manhattan’s upperlower southeast side, boundaries perfectly clear to those distinguished enough to have to know. She throws dinner, cocktail, and drinking parties almost constantly, a task which requires a good deal of hired help. [...]

The Form: Employee Exit Survey The Scenario: Chi had enthusiastically started her own record label one overenthusiastic day a few years ago, pouring all of her and her family’s and her husband’s funds into the business. Though she was the only artist on her world music-focussed label at the time, she planned to use the [...]

The Form: Intern Application The Scenario: After some serious deep reflection and analysis on her part, Lauren concluded that she was just plain overworked. Her next thought was that she needed a way to lighten her workload in a manner that would make her look benevolent while at the same time causing her no loss [...]

The Form: Employee Information and Emergency Contact Forms The Scenario: The human resources department of one of the most respected human resources consulting firms in the world needs to be immaculate. They need to be the standard bearer of HR organization and properness. They need to deal with internal employee problems as swiftly and bloodlessly [...]